At this moment I wish very sincerely that Barack Obama could have felt the way I did on election night. I don't now believe that he has any real understanding of what it meant for LGBT Americans, so many of whom worked tirelessly to put him in office, to watch the passage of Prop 8 in California. To see not just rights denied as in the many other states that have passed similar measures, but rights taken away from those to whom they had been granted, that was just crushing. We are still licking our wounds, even those of us who watched from across the country unable to do much more than send a bit out a medical student's living allowance to help the cause. If anyone reading this wants to get a better sense of that pain, go over to Lesbian Dad and read pretty much any entry from the last three months. And so, to choose Rick Warren to speak at your inauguration in the name of inclusion, just pretty much redoubles the pain we had barely begun to heal from. Why is it so important to include those who campaigned against Obama, but not those who worked for him? It is NOT OK for Rick Warren, a man who has equated Lion's and my upcoming wedding to a grown man marrying a child, to speak at inauguration, I don't care how eloquently the man talks about climate change. Look, I know that Obama doesn't openly support gay marriage and he hasn't been awesome on all of the the LGBT issues, but he opposed Prop 8 so it's not like this man is representative of his position. We are still hurting, Mr. Obama. It was disappointing enough for you to tease us with the possible appointment of a lesbian for labor secretary, but please don't give a national microphone to someone working to invalidate my life. DAMMIT. It's personal.
I guess what matters is that people who think with Warren hold a great deal of power in this country.
For some good analysis, see Bilerico, Pam's House Blend,
12.18.2008
12.11.2008
New Arguments
At this point in the game, I am sometimes shocked when I discover a new argument for gay rights or any other position I've been engaged in mulling over for some time. After many years as Captain Gay of many a gay club, and far too much blog reading it's just not expected. And of all sources, I hardly expected it to come from Jon Stewart. In the video below, which I stumbled across via feminsting, he takes on Mike Huckabee on same-sex marriage. Most of the discussion is old-hat, though interesting to hear played out face-to-face. What struck me was the point that Jon makes that one is much more likely to choose their religion than to be gay and that we protect people's religious practice as a right.
Now, I'm not really one for the "is it a choice or not" debate. A good liberal arts grad knows that the answer is unlikely to be either/or but rather both/and. BUT I often hear that things such as sexual orientation and gender identity do not deserve to be protected classes because one can't prove them to be inborn and unchangeable in the same way that skin color is largely inborn and unchangeable. While I've always rejected the premise of the argument that rights ought to be doled out on the basis of provably inborn and unchangeable-ness it never plum occurred to me that one could counter that so very simply and elegant with the example of religious choice. Holy rebuttal, batman!
Now, I'm not really one for the "is it a choice or not" debate. A good liberal arts grad knows that the answer is unlikely to be either/or but rather both/and. BUT I often hear that things such as sexual orientation and gender identity do not deserve to be protected classes because one can't prove them to be inborn and unchangeable in the same way that skin color is largely inborn and unchangeable. While I've always rejected the premise of the argument that rights ought to be doled out on the basis of provably inborn and unchangeable-ness it never plum occurred to me that one could counter that so very simply and elegant with the example of religious choice. Holy rebuttal, batman!
12.07.2008
Moms and Forgetting
Something adorably funny and oh-so-typical for our family happened to my mother this week. Dad reports in smatters:
I’m just going to get it out there: I have a horrific and unreasonable Mommy complex.
1. I antagonize my mother at strange times for no significant reason.
2. I love, respect, ask for, value and am interested by her advice. And yet I am unthinkably skeptical the moment she offers it.
3. I am afraid that she’ll direct my choices for me even though she’s always encouraged me to be strong and independent (see 2).
4. I am afraid that I’ll become her, because we went to the same prep school and did some of the same things and now I’m in med school and interested in basically the same field of practice that she’s in. I’m worried that I choose these things because I already know what they look like from watching her, not because they are what I really want. At the same time I'm afraid I can't live up to her.
What’s crazy about being worried about being so much like her is that she is awesome as a role model and a mom. She is awesome in all ways! I mean, she is actually the kind of person that I do want to be. She is a great doctor. She’s very well respected in the community where I grew up as well as in her field. In fact, I had no clue how impressive and unusual her practice was before I started med school. She is a family physician who provides a huge range of care even beyond what the majority in her field do, such as c-sections. When I tell my classmates about her, they usually respond with “I had no idea that was even possible!” For the most part I’m probably more worried about living up to her example than anything else. This is why my dad's story is so awesomely comforting. I have always thought that I learned things best when I had to really articulate them to someone else. Thankfully, the educational method at this med school of mine makes me do that quite a bit. Hence, it has been really frustrating to realize that I can explain something quite well to a friend and then see it on an exam a week later and not really remember what it was. Knowing that not only do my mom and I share an amazing ability to underestimate how long things will take, over schedule, forget meetings, leave important items in restaurants/on trains, double-schedule, repeat conversations we’ve already had… but we also share the awesome ability to forget information we taught to others.
“[My Mom] was doing an on-line recertification quiz late last night. It was one of those things where they ask you the question, immediately tell you if you’re wrong, and if so, they give you references to the right answer. She got one wrong and looked at the reference. It was a paper she had co-authored herself.”Oh, the comfort I draw from such stories!
I’m just going to get it out there: I have a horrific and unreasonable Mommy complex.
1. I antagonize my mother at strange times for no significant reason.
2. I love, respect, ask for, value and am interested by her advice. And yet I am unthinkably skeptical the moment she offers it.
3. I am afraid that she’ll direct my choices for me even though she’s always encouraged me to be strong and independent (see 2).
4. I am afraid that I’ll become her, because we went to the same prep school and did some of the same things and now I’m in med school and interested in basically the same field of practice that she’s in. I’m worried that I choose these things because I already know what they look like from watching her, not because they are what I really want. At the same time I'm afraid I can't live up to her.
What’s crazy about being worried about being so much like her is that she is awesome as a role model and a mom. She is awesome in all ways! I mean, she is actually the kind of person that I do want to be. She is a great doctor. She’s very well respected in the community where I grew up as well as in her field. In fact, I had no clue how impressive and unusual her practice was before I started med school. She is a family physician who provides a huge range of care even beyond what the majority in her field do, such as c-sections. When I tell my classmates about her, they usually respond with “I had no idea that was even possible!” For the most part I’m probably more worried about living up to her example than anything else. This is why my dad's story is so awesomely comforting. I have always thought that I learned things best when I had to really articulate them to someone else. Thankfully, the educational method at this med school of mine makes me do that quite a bit. Hence, it has been really frustrating to realize that I can explain something quite well to a friend and then see it on an exam a week later and not really remember what it was. Knowing that not only do my mom and I share an amazing ability to underestimate how long things will take, over schedule, forget meetings, leave important items in restaurants/on trains, double-schedule, repeat conversations we’ve already had… but we also share the awesome ability to forget information we taught to others.
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